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Two agonizing weeks ago the second anniversary of the tragic loss of my loving husband passed, and I was struggling to do my best to maintain my composure around our two small children. My husband was only twenty-four years old, and I was only twenty-three when a man driving home from the bar drunk drove over the curb and ran down the man I loved as he was walking home from the store. I blamed myself every day for that accident, because it was me who asked him to go out that night to get me some ice cream and some salt and vinegar potato chips.
I was almost eight months pregnant at the time and was experiencing strong cravings for chocolate and salt. My husband, being the loving and supportive man he was, did not hesitate to walk to the convenience store a few blocks away to get me what I wanted. Had I not sent him out so late that night to get junk food to fulfill my cravings, he would still be alive today.
Slightly more than two years passed since I lost the man I loved so dearly. Our daughter, who never got to see her father’s face in person, was turning two in another month, and our son turned four years old a few months ago. Taking care of them on my own while trying to support us all financially turned out to be more than I could handle, so slightly less than a year after my husband’s passing, my children and I moved in with my mother.
Only having one year left to finish my college degree, living with my mother and having her help me with my children, I was able to get back into class and complete my college education. Several weeks before graduation, I began sending resumes to every position for which I felt I had enough qualifications to afford me a good chance at getting the potential job. I graduated the same week my son turned four, and nearly two months passed before I finally received a call to set up a job interview. The only problem was it was almost an eight-hour drive from here.
I was happy when the person from human resources who called said they would be willing to set up a video chat interview with me. That was such a relief, because I did not want to have to make that eight-hour drive to do my interview, and then turn around and drive back home again. I could not afford to get a hotel room, so I had no choice but to make the round trip if I were to have to go there for this meeting. If I got the job I would obviously have to move there, but until then I did not want to make such a long trip on my own.
Dressing up in my nicest pantsuit, I sat down in front of the computer four days later ready for my interview. Although I anticipated the interview being a total disaster, it went surprisingly well. The man who interviewed me was the head of personnel for the hospital in a small town, or at least it was a small town compared to where we lived in the city. He was quite impressed with my education, at which I did exceedingly well, but was a bit disappointed with my lack of experience.
By the time the hour-long interview was completed, the man offered me the job. This was not something I expected at all. I was sure it would be at least a week or two before I heard anything back on whether I got the job or not. They needed someone who could start within the week, and although I did not talk with my mother about it yet, I proceeded under the assumption that she would not mind watching her grandchildren for a short time as I went to secure a place to live. Trying not to show quite how excited I truly was, I told the man that I was happy to accept the job and would begin making arrangements immediately.
While the pay for this new position was very good and would take care of me and my children very well, I was not given a housing allowance. I would have to go up there with what little I could muster together and find a small apartment or perhaps a motel room I could rent at a weekly rate. It was probably going to take me a minimum of a couple of months before I was able to get a large apartment or house large enough to bring my children back with me.
The drive was quite mundane for the first hour after leaving home, but eventually I left the city and suburbs behind and entered the dense, green forests. It was nice being surrounded by nature rather than concrete, asphalt and endless rows of buildings. The vibrant greens of the treetops and the foliage lining the highway were a nice break from the ugliness the city had to offer. It being late spring, I saw large, scattered patches of wildflowers that added to the beauty of the drive.
I was nearly an hour from my destination when I peaked a slight hill and could see the snowcapped mountains far in the distance. I could not believe this was going to be the view I had from the town in which I would be living. Never in my life did I ever expect to live in a rural area with such a spectacular view as this. There was no doubt in my mind that my children were going to love it out here.
By the time I reached the small town in which I would now live and work, the towering mountains did not seem to grow much at all. Although we would have such an amazing view, we were still probably at least a two-hour drive to the foothills and another hour to the mountains. Regardless, it was going to be nice to be surrounded by trees instead of block after block of homes and businesses.
My husband would have loved it here. He was an avid outdoorsman and loved to take trips away from the city, somewhere we could enjoy the peace and beauty nature had to offer. I began to cry at this thought, but I smiled at how proud my husband would be of me at this very moment. No matter how much time passed, I believed deep down he would always be with me.
As I entered the small town, I could not help but chuckle when I saw the sign displaying the name of the town and the population. Less than eight thousand people called this small place home, although I was sure there was a fairly large population in the county surrounding it. I saw several ranches on my way into town, so I imagined there was a large agricultural community.
The homes in town were better than I anticipated, and the residents appeared to take good care of the lawns. The first thing I did once I got to town was to find the hospital. I still did not begin working for another week, but I wanted to go ahead and make it the central point as I learned where everything else was.
The hospital was larger than I expected for a community this size, but it was the only real hospital in a five-county area. A lot of people probably relied on this one facility for most of the medical care dispensed in the region, and that was more than likely why they needed someone who could start immediately. Staffing shortages were something they could not allow, being so far from any large urban center. There were probably county clinics available for regular doctor’s visits and such, but this was the only place where people could receive urgent care.
Once I oriented myself with my new place of employment, I drove back to the main road to locate a motel where I could stay for the night. I rented the room for a weekly rate at one of the four motels in town. It was fortunate that I got such a great discount, because as it turned out I only needed to stay there for three days. I thought it would take me much longer to find an apartment, but the process took much less time than I thought.
I found a small but nice one bedroom apartment only six residential blocks away from the hospital. Normally I would have to pass a credit check before I could secure a place to live, but after checking my employment status with the hospital, the manager of the apartment complex called me to tell me I was approved to move in the next day. This would give me two days to get moved in before I began working, but it was not like I had much to move. I had nothing more than what I could carry in my van.
When I got to work, I found everyone to be very friendly and inviting. Once word got around that my apartment was furniture free with the exception of some lawn chairs, a couple of end tables and an air mattress, some of the other employees got together and collected some things for me. On my third day of work, a gentleman who worked in the labs by the name of Roger showed up at the end of my workday with a truckload of furniture. He and five others from the hospital drove me home and helped me carry everything up to my second story apartment.
I could not thank them enough for everything they did to welcome me to their community. The furniture did not match, and some of it was a bit old, but now I was not going to have to start with nothing. Now I would be able to focus the money I would spend getting the basic furnishings for this apartment on securing a larger apartment, or perhaps even a house, so I could return to my mother’s to retrieve my children.
Even though I was only separated from my little ones for a week, it was absolutely tearing me up inside to be apart from them. I was used to waking them up in the morning and putting them down for bed every night. My life felt completely hollow as I slept all alone in this small apartment, but I knew it was not going to be forever. I called them every day, but my daughter was still not talking much yet. Still, I hated having the six-hour drive in between us.
A few days later, I was late getting to lunch, and by the time I got there the cafeteria was almost empty. I got my tray and then scanned the dining area for anyone with whom I was already familiar. To my relief I saw Roger sitting by himself. He was the one who collected and drove all that furniture to my apartment before he even met me. I guess Roger noticed me standing there, because his countenance went from somber to welcoming as he waved to me. I smiled and made my way over to his table to join him.
He only sat down to eat a few minutes before I arrived, so we had nearly an hour to chat. Roger came from a ranching family, and his father worked hard to put him through college. I knew he worked in the lab, but I did not realize he had a master’s degree in biochemistry. He was one of two people who oversaw all laboratory functions for the hospital and reported directly to the hospital administrator.
That really impressed me as I thought he was a lab tech or some other position a bit further down the ladder. I could not believe one of the hospital administrators took his day to collect all that furniture then help carry it up to my apartment. He even stayed behind with a nice couple from payroll to help me get my new things arranged. I was not used to people in a position so far above mine being so generous to people not at their social standing.
For three days I did not see Roger again, and eventually I found out why. He always made sure that the rest of his staff had time for lunch before taking his own lunch break. He sounded like a very giving person, and I counted it as one of my blessings that Roger came into my life when he did.
I took my next two lunch breaks late so I would better my chances of running into Roger. To my joy, I found him sitting alone at a table both times. We would sit and chat as we ate our meals. He told me all about the town and the surrounding area. I was shocked to learn about the frontier history of the surrounding territory and how many pivotal moments happened in this very region.
I gave Roger some of the details of my current situation and of the loss of my husband. He was very sympathetic towards me as he could see I was still a young woman to be a widow with two children. Roger explained to me how he had a cabin in the mountains that my children and I might enjoy. If I ever wanted to use it, all I had to do was let him know.
He started to offer me other forms of assistance, but he backed off when he could see how uncomfortable it was making me. It was nothing against Roger. I know he was only trying to make someone’s difficult time a little less difficult, but I never had a man offering to be so helpful to me since my husband died. I think he at least had a sense of what I was feeling, and he turned the topic to other matters.
Several weeks later, when I received my second semi-monthly paycheck, I found the amount to be much greater than that of my first check. Sure, it was some sort of mistake, I looked at the check stub and saw an amount nearly equal to that of a month’s pay. It was listed on my check stub as a sign on bonus. I never discussed any sign on bonus with the man who interviewed me and no one above me in my department ever said anything about it.
This was enough money for me to go ahead and move, which meant I could bring my children up a month sooner than I thought I would. It seemed like this bonus had to be some sort of mistake, but I did not want to rock the boat just in case it was. It was perfectly reasonable for me to accept the idea this was a bonus about which my interviewer simply forgot to mention. In addition to that, I thought the bonus may be because of the distance I had to move to take the job, and I did not want to make employees who lived locally their whole life feel like they were being short changed.
It did not take me looking for a new place long at all before I found a house that would be perfect for my children and me. The house was only one story, so I did not have to worry about my small children falling down any stairs. The house had three bedrooms and two baths and an open garage. The square footage was almost that of my mother’s rather large home, and I was going to be paying less than a hundred dollars than my last apartment in the city.
I was not sure who organized it, but Roger and seven others showed up on the morning of my move to help. I felt like any thanks I gave them would be inadequate. I knew a couple of people were coming to assist me in getting everything moved from my apartment to my house, so I was beside myself when eight people showed up. Some of them left around midday, but others came by and provided what help they could. In all a total of twelve people from work and their spouses donated their time to helping me move. By the time the day was done, everything was moved and most of the boxes were unpacked. Now it was time to take the weekend to get my children and bring them to once again live with me.
The next day, while we were having lunch, Roger asked me if I would like to have dinner or go to a movie with him. There was not a whole lot else to do in town aside from outdoor activities. I told Roger I would like that, but I made it clear as politely as I could that I was not looking for a romantic relationship at the time. Roger told me he was fine with that, and he was happy just being good friends with me.
Instead of going to dinner or a movie, Roger and I went bowling instead. This was the one indoor activity in the town that allowed people to be active and even a bit loud and rowdy. Not since my husband passed away had I have anything to drink, but during our second game, I allowed myself to order a beer. My system was so unused to alcohol anymore, that one beer had me tipsy and giggling.
With my coordination impaired, I began to throw a lot less strikes and a lot more gutter balls. Roger stopped me after my second beer because I was beginning to stumble and fall at that point. We were not even finished with our third game when Roger decided he was ready to take me home. My car was there too, but Roger told me not to worry about that. He would find someone to drive his truck while he went to pick my car back up for me.
Honestly, there was no way for me to be sure how much I embarrassed myself or Roger as I could not remember much that happened after that first beer. All I knew was that I woke up in my bed still wearing the clothes I had on from last night. It looked like Roger helped me into the house and being an honest man, laid me in bed with my clothes on. I was actually very relieved to see that I was not in my pajamas, or even more disturbing, totally naked.
After turning on the coffee pot, I walked to the front of the house. Even before I got to the window, I could see the keys to my car were sitting on the small oval table next to the door, and once I reached the window, I could see my car was indeed parked in the driveway in front of my house. Roger truly seemed to be a man of his word. I did not know who he got to drive his truck back here for him as he drove my car, but I would like to find out so I could thank them.
I only had this one last day to work before I went to pick up my precious little babies, and it did not help that I was slightly hung over. I did not feel like I was drug through the mud and hung up wet, but I did feel less than one hundred percent. That was alright though, because tomorrow morning I would make that long drive back to the city to bring my children home with me where they belonged.
My mother was waiting with my little miracles at the door when I pulled into the driveway. My daughter screamed and hit a pitch that was probably almost outside the range of human hearing and hobbled toward me as fast as she could. My son was not quite so excited to see me, and it broke my heart to see him looking at me the way that he was.
It was not until later, when I had time to sit down and talk to my mother, that I understood why my son was so upset with me. She told me my son thought I was never coming back to get them because he thought I did not want them anymore. It tore at my heart to hear her say this, and to find out my son felt like he lost his father only to be abandoned by his mother. He would ask her daily how many days it was since I moved away. I guess he was going to have to get over his anger before he could be excited.
The next morning, I was awake shortly after the sun rose. I was sipping coffee and chatting with my mom when my son came out of his bedroom. He stumbled a bit as he wiped the sleepiness from his eyes, and when he looked at me his face lit up like the sun. Giggling in joy, my son ran up to me and put his arms around my legs.
My heart melted and tears of joy ran from my eyes. I was afraid it was going to be a drawn-out process as my son got over the anger of feeling abandoned, but it did not take him long at all to be happy to see me. We hugged for a full minute or two before I asked him what he would like for breakfast. I was glad to find out my mother cooked them breakfast every morning instead of feeding them sugary cereals.
Roger and I did not have any more one on one “friend” dates, but we did still hang around with others as a group. There were a lot of people my age working at the hospital, and I did not think Roger could be any more than five or six years older than me at most. Although the little town did not have much of a nightlife, there were six bars not counting the one in the bowling alley. On the weekends there was always some sort of event, festival, or celebration happening in one or more of the town’s parks, so there was always something to do to keep active.
I learned a lot of new games of which I was previously unaware such as washers and corn-hole. I really enjoyed the community activities, and I was elated to see how well my children were getting along with other kids their ages. I was glad they were able to make some friends before I put them into daycare the next week. The hospital provided free daycare services for employees, so my little ones would play with the same children all the time.
Four weekends later I took my children with me to the Founder’s Day celebration which was happening in multiple parks throughout the day. Fliers mailed to every residence in town detailed which events were going on at which park, so I spent most of the morning and early afternoon taking my children to events I knew they would enjoy.
After we sat down and had something for lunch, I allowed myself one beer while I still had a full stomach. My plan initially was to nurse the beer for an hour, but due to the hot weather I had to drink it fast, so it did not go flat on me. I got a bit tipsy, but not like my bowling night with Roger. That was alright though, I had plenty of time before I would have to drive. I would long be sober by the time I had to drive me and my children home.
One of the mothers from work had three children around the same age as mine, so she and her husband took them for me for a little while so I could play some games and socialize without someone yelling “mom” at me every few minutes. I decided to put my name in for a game of horseshoes. We had a horseshoe pit in the small park near our house back in the city some of my neighbors and I used to use quite frequently. Some of the other games looked fun, but I had no experience with those.
Since I was by myself, I ended up being paired with a nice young man by the name of Jeremey. We met a few times before, but we never exchanged more than polite greetings and bland pleasantries. This was the first time we actually had time to talk and get to know each other a little. Jeremy worked in triage in the emergency room, which is a job I did not think I could do. It was a bit ironic that blood made me queasy with me working in a hospital, but that was why I worked in administration. The worst injury I would normally see was a paper cut.
I decided to have a second beer as I felt the first one wearing off. Jeremy and I made it through the first round of the competition and were about to begin the second round. If we qualified in this round, we went to the finals. I did not know when I entered this competition, but this was one the locals took very seriously. A trophy was given on the last day of the celebration to the winning team.
Once I realized how important this contest was, I decided not to finish my beer so I could keep my wits and coordination about me. This was a game with which I had a lot of practice, and it was very possible Jeremy and I could win this. I was having a lot of fun, and I was enjoying getting to know Jeremy. Like me, he moved from a much larger population center to come to work for the hospital. Although I really wanted to ask if he got a sign-on bonus like I did, I decided that was probably not a very good idea. He did come on two years before me, and the bonus may not have been offered at that time.
Jeremy and I made it through the eliminations for the second round and moved on to the finals. I could not believe, with all the ranchers in this region, that a city girl like me made it as far as I did in what is typically thought of as a rural activity. We were halfway through the third round when Jeremy mentioned the possibility of the two of us doing something sometime. As with Roger, I politely explained to him that I would love to do some friend activities with him, but I still was not ready to move on romantically since the loss of my husband.
I was relieved when Jeremy told me he understood; I needed more time to get over my husband’s passing. We continued on and made it through the third round, ranking second place out of the remaining eight teams. The final round was not to take place until tomorrow which was the last day of the Founder’s Day celebration, and I really needed to get my children back.
I felt bad for being in this game while someone else was basically stuck watching my children for me, but she said she did not mind at all. She, along with some other mothers, took all the children to the playground area. My son ran and played, climbed on the monkey bars, and overall ran himself into exhaustion. By the time we got home, both he and my daughter were sound asleep in their car seats.
It felt good to walk into the lobby of the hospital the next Monday to see the trophy Jeremy and I won being prominently displayed in a large glass case. I did not realize how seriously the residents of this small town took this horseshoe competition, and I was definitely not expecting to see it on display at the hospital. It was not until later I discovered most trophies not related to the junior high or high school were placed on display in various cases in the smaller hospital lobbies.
Jeremy could not take his lunch break to coincide with mine, so I continued to sit with Roger as I always seemed to get to my lunch break late every day. Three workdays passed before I saw Jeremy again. I jokingly asked him if he was trying to avoid me, but instead of chuckling immediately, he paused for a few seconds before reacting. It was possible I read too much into the situation, but his reaction confirmed for me that he was indeed trying to avoid seeing me.
Everything seemed fine Sunday when he and I won the horseshoe trophy, and I did not pick up any signs that he no longer wanted my company. He gave me a hug after I threw the winning ringer before quickly pulling back and apologizing for being so forward. I told him it was fine; we were celebrating our win. I was laughing and we were having fun, so I could not comprehend what had him acting this way.
One week later the texts began. Jeremy began to text me, once a day at first but more frequently as the days passed, telling me how he would like to have more than just a friendship with me. He said he wanted to take care of me and my children. I found these texts very disturbing as we only knew each other for slightly over seven days. He seemed to be acting like he was in love with me, and he had a whole life planned for us in his head.
I did not see Jeremy that entire week or the week after that, but I was not trying to run into him intentionally. I basically avoided any of the areas he was likely to be unless I had no other choice. The texts continued, so I finally blocked the number to prevent any more of his texts from coming through.
The next Monday, when I took my children to the on-site daycare, I made sure to speak with the ladies there and tell them not to let anyone but me pick up my children. They assured me no one would get my children but me, and I could tell they felt a sense of concern when I made this request, but they did not push me for any additional details. For the next three mornings, the caring ladies in the daycare made sure to ask me if everything was alright when I dropped off my little ones each morning. I did not want to tell anyone what was happening because it involved another hospital employee.
On the fourth day – I still had not seen Jeremy yet – I began to let down my guard as I thought blocking Jeremy’s phone stopped the problem. It was getting close to the end of my shift when my phone began to vibrate in my purse. My heart skipped a beat as I thought of who it might be. It only buzzed twice in quick succession, so I knew it was a text message. Anyone who needed to contact me about my children would either call my cell phone or even more likely call me on the work phone.
With butterflies stirring in my stomach, I reached down into my purse and withdrew my phone. I paused for several seconds before I unlocked the home screen and checked the message. I could tell by the tone of the text that it was from Jeremy, and what he said gave me the chills. He described me only half an hour ago going to the coffee maker. He even went into detail of how many packets of cream and sugar I used.
I began crying, grabbed my purse and headed straight to the lady’s room. When I burst through the door connecting the office room to the hallway, I nearly knocked Roger to the ground. He began picking up the papers that were in his hands a few seconds ago but stopped almost immediately when he noticed how upset I was. He dropped the few papers he did pick up and gently placed his fingers on the side of my shoulders.
“What’s going on?” he asked me with clear concern. “Are you okay? Th-the kids are okay right?” That last part he said with a bit more urgency.
I quickly told him my children were fine. He gave me a minute to compose myself, and then I finally broke down and told him what was going on for the last few weeks. Roger looked at me like he did not believe what I told him, or perhaps he was a bit confused about the entire situation, but he listened to me until I was finished.
At that point he did get down and pick up the papers I knocked from his hands. I saw someone coming down the hallway, so I helped him get them all picked up, even if they were all probably in the wrong order. Once the nurse passed by, Roger told me to come with him down to his office. I had to go back to turn off my computer and do a few things, but it was at the end of my workday. I did what I needed to do and then returned to the hallway where Roger was still waiting.
He walked one step behind and one step to the side of me like a protective father as we made our way to his shockingly large office. Roger told me to have a seat, got behind his desk, and began doing something on the computer. After a minute or two of looking around, something of a scowl crossed Roger’s forehead as he seemed to be trying to understand something.
“What is it?” I finally asked.
Roger informed me that Jeremy stopped showing up for his shifts more than two weeks ago. That did not make sense because he knew exactly what I was doing less than an hour ago. Although Roger admitted he did not know much about the computer system, it was his thought that Jeremy might be patching into the security system somehow.
He planned on having the tech-support office check into the possible problem, but I did not want this to get out to become town gossip. Despite this, Roger said he had to check into the issue. He would keep my name out of it as best he could, but if someone was hacking into the hospital’s computer network, it could pose a very serious security threat. He had an obligation to investigate it.
At this point, I was afraid of going home. Jeremey knew where I worked, what I was doing when I was there, and I was terrified he would be watching me at home as well. When I told Roger of my concerns, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he tried to help me come up with a reasonable solution. Eventually, he gave his shoulders a slight shrug and told me that the kids and I could come stay with him until we were somehow able to put an end to this.
I thanked him for the offer, but I told Roger I could not put him out like that. He then suggested I at least let him stay over at my house for the next few nights at least to make sure no one was going to try to get inside. I informed him that I did not have a room or a bed where he could sleep, but he told me sleeping on the sofa would be fine since it would only be for a few days.
Roger said he would need to go home and pack an overnight bag, but he did not want me going home alone. I told him I could take my children for dinner before we headed home. Roger agreed this would probably be a good idea and told me he would meet me there as soon as he got the things he would need for the next couple of days.
We were almost finished with our meals when Roger showed up to the diner to meet me. After helping me get my little ones in their car seats, he followed me to my house. When I pulled into my driveway, I was quite perplexed to see Roger continue on to the end of the block and make a right turn. I waited for a few minutes for him to return, and I was just about to climb out of my car and get my kids when Roger pulled up in front of my house. He wanted to circle around to look and see if he happened to see Jeremy or his car anywhere around.
Roger stayed with me and my children for three days without any further incidents. It made me feel good to see how well he got along with my son, and my daughter absolutely adored him. I told Roger he did not have to continue staying with us, protecting us. There were heavy locks on all the doors, and I kept a small revolver in my bedstand. I felt confident Jeremy would not try to force his way into or otherwise invade my home, and if he did, I was ready to protect my family. Initially he protested, but Roger understood he could not stay here forever.
That night and the next day passed without any incident, but that night as I was tucking my son in bed, I could hear my phone’s muffled ringing coming from where I had it stashed in my purse. I thought it might be Roger or someone else I knew from work, so I quickly kissed my son on the forehead and ran to get my phone before it stopped ringing. It was not a number I recognized, but I answered it anyway.
When I answered, no one replied. I could, although, hear someone grunting, almost growling on the other end. I knew immediately who it had to be. My initial response was to yell at Jeremy to leave me alone, but I did not want to upset my children. Instead, I told him quietly but very firmly that he better leave me alone or I would have him arrested. He stopped the growling and began clacking his teeth together like he either was insane or he wanted me to think he was insane. Either way it was working.
What probably disturbed me the most about this incident was that Roger was here for three nights and nothing happened. The day after Roger went home, the harassment began once again. That meant Jeremy was keeping an eye on my house, and he knew that Roger was no longer here. He was probably studying me, getting to know my daily routine. It would not be hard. I got my kids ready, took them to daycare, went to work, and basically started it all over the next day.
Initially I was going to call Roger to come back to my house, but I decided against that. Instead, I made sure all the windows and doors were securely locked, and all the blinds and curtains were drawn. I turned on the light in the living room, but I took my pillows and blankets into the hallway and slept on the floor in between the doorways to my children’s bedrooms. I kept my revolver with me, but I put it in my purse, snapped it shut and put it under the blanket with me.
When I saw Roger the next day at work, I explained to him what happened the previous night. At that point he strongly urged me to get a dog to help protect my house and family. Although I was previously apprehensive about getting a dog, my son asked me multiple times for one since his father passed away. I guess Roger was right, but I really had no idea where to get a dog other than from the rescue shelter. That would be as good a place as any to look.
I did not see Roger for lunch, but I still did not have to sit alone. I sat with some friends I made in other departments. Hopefully I did not seem overtly paranoid, but I kept an eye on the rest of the cafeteria to make sure I did not see Jeremy anywhere, watching me in secret. If anyone did notice, no one said anything. That was a relief to me because I did not want to have to explain the situation to them. It was hard enough to tell Roger. I was the outsider in this situation, and I was absolutely terrified if anyone found out, they would say it was my fault.
I took some personal time and made it a half-day. The shelter closed at 5 p.m., and I could not get there if I worked a full day. Roger caught me in the lobby as my children and I were leaving to inform me he ordered a home surveillance system for me and the people should be there to install it by the end of the day. I told him I could not afford something so expensive, but he told me not to worry about it. He was having the hospital pay for it. When I tried to object, he told me he could always justify it because the person stalking me was also the person who hacked into the hospital’s security cameras. I still did not feel comfortable with this, but Roger told me it was only a loan. Whenever the threat was over, I could return the system to the hospital.
My son was beside himself when I told him where we were going and what we were going to do. My daughter giggled and clapped her hands some, but I thought my son was going to burst out of his car seat. He was that excited.
As the attendant brought us through to look at what dogs they had up for adoption, my son wanted to run the length of the corridor. I had to keep a hold of his hand to prevent him from wandering off. He finally stopped at one cage and began to hop in anticipation. Frantically he begged me to get one of two the dogs inside, both German shepherds. When I found out one was eight years old, and the other was her two-year-old puppy, I did not have the heart to take one of them and not the other. Before the day was done, we were driving home with two large dogs.
I was not able to stop to pick up any supplies for the animals we just adopted into our family. As much as I did not want to, I called Roger and asked him if he could pick me up some dog food and some dishes for them. Luckily, I caught him before he left the office. Roger told me he already planned to come by in a few hours to make sure the surveillance cameras were delivered and set up properly. Stopping at the grocery store for a few things would only take ten more minutes of his time.
We were not home even an hour before there was a knock at my front door. Initially my reaction was to think it was Jeremy trying to break in, but then there was a second knock and a call from the other side of the door. It was the technicians here to set up the cameras in and around my house.
The men were very good at what they did, pinpointing the places around my house they would need to place cameras in order to watch every door and window. They also set up several cameras inside my house, even showing me how I could move them around to other places in the house if I so chose. They were only at my house for a little more than an hour, and I could see every inch of my property from the outside from the monitor of my home computer.
Now with two large dogs in the house and the ability to monitor everything surrounding my home, I felt much safer from the man who relentlessly stalked me for months now. Not ten minutes after the technicians left my home, Roger arrived with a huge bag of dog food, two food bowls and two water dishes. He also bought two collars and two leashes as he was not sure if I had any or not. I thanked him so much for helping me with this. It was hard to get things done when I had my children to take everywhere with me.
I told my son he could name the boy dog, and my daughter could name the girl dog. That was how we ended up with the names Bup for the puppy and Nonnie for the older dog. Bup and Nonnie took well to Roger, which kind of made me worry they would be too friendly to any intruder that may enter my home. I was sure once they got used to me and my children, their protective instincts would kick in.
I showed Roger how all the cameras around the house all displayed their feed on my desktop computer. I could zoom in on one or watch all of them at once, and an external hard drive stored the videos so it would not fill the storage on my own computer. He was pleased with the workmanship of the surveillance system as I was, because now I could watch outside of the house without even having to crack the curtains. As they were, the cameras only allowed me a slight glance at the surrounding properties, but I could see everything on my own property.
Roger would not let me pay him back for the dog food and dishes initially, but I insisted he allow me to reimburse him. As he began to leave, Roger told me to call him if I needed to, but I was rather confident we were safe inside the house with the camera system and our two new family members. I did still plan to add a few extra locks to the front and back doors, but I was not sure what else I could do to protect the windows outside of planting holly bushes outside.
The next day I got in contact with the man who actually owned the property I was renting and informed him of the situation. Mainly I wanted to let him know about the surveillance system mounted around the house. When I told him this, he informed me he planned on putting up a wooden privacy fence around the back yard and the sides of the front yard, so he told me he would get it done as soon as he could. After informing him of my intent to plant the holly bushes, he told me he would pay me back for the costs if I took care of the planting.
My phone number was much easier to change than I anticipated, and I had it done in less than ten minutes. When I got back to work the next day, I would have to make sure I changed my number with them. There were a few more people I would have to inform such as my landlord, but that would not take me very long at all. With my new number, I received no texts or phone calls for the entire night. With the new security system and the addition of the two German shepherds to the household, I got the first good night’s sleep I had in more than a month.
Nearly a week passed without any further incidents, and I began to believe Jeremy was finally going to leave me alone. My hopes were crushed when I got to work that morning and turned on my computer. One of the first things I did was check my work emails, and I found my inbox filled with hundreds of emails. I did not read many of them, but the ones I did read accused me of being a harlot who was sleeping with most of the men working in the hospital administration. One of the emails threatened to expose me to the people of the town, but there was nothing to expose. The last romantic relationship in my life was with my husband. I was not sleeping with anyone, much less most of the men in the office.
I really did not know what I should do about this. On one hand the harassing emails came in through my work account, and the hospital should be informed. On the other hand, I was afraid the contents of the emails would get out and rumors would begin that what Jeremy said in the messages was true. The thought of becoming known as the town tramp, even though I was celibate for more than two years, absolutely terrified me. I was still new here, and if someone successfully got these rumors to spread throughout the community, I may actually have to move.
Ultimately, I ended up going down to Roger’s office to explain to him what happened. He could tell I was visibly upset as soon as I entered his office and jumped from behind his desk. Running over to me, Roger reached up and closed the blinds for his windows before putting his hands on my shoulders. Bending his knees so he could look at me on my eye level, Roger asked me what happened.
Roger was still trying to remain professional, but at that point I needed someone to hold me. I stepped in with my arms pulled against my chest and my hands clenched and laid my head against Roger’s shoulder. For the first time since Jeremy began to harass me, I lost control of my emotions and began to sob. Roger reached behind him and retrieved several tissues, which he then handed to me. I wiped the tears from my eyes first before backing away to blow my nose. Through the blur of tears filling my eyes, I looked up to see Roger holding more tissues and an office trash can.
He was so good to me as I was going through such a difficult situation. Roger looked out for me even before Jeremy began this sadistic stalking and relentless harassment. Although he wanted me to contact the police over this email blast Jeremy sent me, I told him I did not want to get the authorities involved. I still hoped there was a chance I could keep this out of the public eye because I knew in a small community like this, it was not difficult at all for rumors to spread.
I also begged him not to tell the tech division or security about what was happening. Roger insisted that, since it was an email address the hospital owned, he was going to have to tell someone about this. As I once again began to sob, I pleaded with him not to say anything to anyone else. I was sure Jeremy would give up after an amount of time; I just didn’t know how long that period of time would be.
For now Roger agreed to keep this between the two of us. He would take care of getting me a new email address and planned to keep it out of the public directory. Hopefully this would stop Jeremy from harassing me in this manner at least. He sighed in hesitation before finally telling me he would keep this between us for now, but if the situation continued to escalate, he would have to do something. He was not going to sit back while my stalker turned into a killer.
Once again I broke into tears at the mention of a killer. This thought was there in the back of my mind, but I was successfully ignoring it until Roger said it out loud. Reluctantly, Roger wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I cried for several more minutes before I finally regained my composure. My eyes must have been red and puffy, because Roger told me he was going to go down to the daycare center to get my children and bring them back to his office. He said to stay in there to allow myself a few minutes to calm myself down.
Roger was sending me home early today, but he wanted to go with me to make sure I got into the house safely. Once he made sure we were home and okay, Roger planned to go back to work and finish off his day. Before he walked all the way down to the daycare center, I called ahead and told them Roger had my permission to pick up my children on this one occasion. Otherwise, they would not let him pick them up for me.
The dogs were happy to see us home early, and I put them out in the back yard so they could get some exercise and take care of their business. I was so happy that my children took to the dogs and the dogs took to my kids as well as they did. I knew they would be protective of my little ones if anyone were to approach them in a threatening way.
As the next few days passed, I anticipated my phone ringing at any time. I changed my number, but the hospital had it on file. Considering this, I began to wonder if Jeremy had someone who worked inside the hospital giving him my personal contact information. I guess Jeremy could still have friends working there who could pass my phone number and such to him. That thought frightened me even more because that would mean there was more than one person behind all of these harassing attacks.
I began to feel a bit of comfort when there were no more incidents for almost two weeks. It so happened to be the night of Friday the 13th when I was awoken by the alert on my phone telling me there was motion on my front porch. Climbing out of bed, I put on my robe and walked over to my computer to check the cameras. I fell back a step and thought I was going to vomit when I saw what was on the monitor. A deranged, sadistic looking clown with what appeared to be blood spattered over its polkadotted outfit stood right outside my front door.
My heart raced as I looked at that clown with its tooth filled, distortedly wide smile while it stood there and looked right into the camera. I knew it had to be Jeremy, or possibly someone who was working with him. Either way, it did not appear he was ever going to let up with this terrifying harassment. Suddenly the clown began to move very slowly. It seemed to be attempting to operate something, perhaps a phone, with its rubber glove covered hands.
The next thing I knew, every single one of the cameras protecting my home turned off. As quickly as I possibly could, I ran into my bedroom and retrieved my pistol from the nightstand. My hands trembled with fright as I fumbled with the trigger lock. When I finally managed to get the trigger lock off my gun, I ran back into the hallway and pointed it at the front door. Nothing happened for several minutes, so I slowly went back to my computer and reactivated the cameras.
The cameras had to be reactivated one by one, so the first one I reactivated was for the front porch. I was relieved at first to see the clown was no longer there, then the realization hit me that whoever this was could be making their way around my house. Trying to take some deep breaths and calm myself down a bit, I continued to reactivate the cameras until they were all once again functioning. I could not see anyone through any of the video feeds, so I assumed the clown was gone. I continued to watch the monitors for more than an hour to make sure this person did not return.
I did not think breaking in was ever his intent. I thought this was definitely Jeremy, and he was showing me that he could access my cameras with his device. The security company that installed the system for me said it could only be accessed by means of a password, but clearly that was not the case. First thing in the morning I was going to have someone come out and fix whatever allowed someone to hack into my security system.
Again, I slept in the hallway on the hard floor. My thick comforter helped some, but it was still difficult to sleep without the comfort of a bed. Between the discomfort and the fear that still filled my thoughts, I only managed to get two hours of sleep at the most.
Instead of calling the security company first thing in the morning, I decided to call Roger instead. He was the only person I could trust at the moment. It was entirely possible that Jeremy either knew someone who worked for the security firm that installed my cameras, or he could even be working there now. Once I told him what happened last night, Roger was at my house in less than twenty minutes.
I let Roger greet my children and play with them for a bit before I sat them down for breakfast. Once I had their attention occupied, I walked over and turned on my computer monitor. All of the cameras were still up and running, but I reduced that window and pulled up the camera footage from last night. This time, I went further back until I saw the terrifying clown walking from around the edge of the privacy fence and up to my porch. He stood there for almost five minutes before somehow causing my cameras to turn off. When the recording resumed, the clown was nowhere to be seen.
Roger stood silently with his hand over his mouth as if he were in deep thought. After debating it for a few moments, Roger told me he would like for me and the kids to come and stay with him until we could either get some bars put over the windows, or we brought an end to this whole ordeal. Normally I would be very reluctant to accept such an offer, but I was at my wits end. I did not feel like I could keep my children safe even with a gun and two large dogs.
Regardless, I told Roger I could not be such an inconvenience to him, but he insisted it was no bother. He had a bedroom for each of us, his home was inside a gated community, and security patrolled the streets regularly. His whole property was surrounded by a ten-foot-tall iron gate with a keypad operated gate in the front and back of the plot. I put up a bit more of an argument, but that was only for show. I was more than happy to stay there with Roger in the wealthiest area of the small town rather than being so vulnerable where we currently were.
Eventually, I told my son to get some of his clothes together while I got some things for me and my daughter. Becoming buddies with my boy, Roger helped him pack a small suitcase and a tub full of toys. It made my heart melt to listen to the two laughing and joking as they tended to their task. Within another thirty minutes, we had enough things packed to last us for close to a week until I would need to do the wash.
My son wanted to ride with Roger, and I thought this was a good idea. Perhaps it would help him adjust to this sudden move, so I removed his car seat and installed it in the back seat of Roger’s truck. Installing the seat in Roger’s vehicle was much easier than installing it in mine as his truck had special buckle connections designed specifically to make this task easier.
The instant we pulled into the small, gated community, I felt as if I was underdressed. The houses and lawns were so beautiful; I did not know a neighborhood like this even existed in this town. The entire subdivision was surrounded by a wall of trees which obscured this neighborhood from the rest of the town. There were probably only three to four dozen homes at most, but they were incredible homes with sizable yards.
My son was almost ready to tear free from his restraints as he saw where we would be staying for the next week or so. Roger’s house was huge. Not only did he have a bedroom for each of us, he still had two bedrooms remaining. I found it rather odd for a single man with no children to have such a large home, but if I had the money he apparently made, I would go big too.
He did not tell me this at first, probably because he knew I would object, but he hired a nanny to stay with my little ones during the day, so we did not have to bring them out in public every time I went to work. Roger also told me that he had one full-time and one part-time housekeeper who would be here during that time as well.
I was unsure about leaving my children with people I did not know, but I was also unsure of how many of the people I knew there were who I could trust. Roger informed me the housekeepers were with him for more than five years, and the nanny was one of their sisters. His reassurances worked and I began to feel safer about my children remaining here as Roger and I went to work.
For the first hour we were at Roger’s, we spent the whole time chasing my son from room to room. He wanted to see everything in “Roger’s Mansion” as he put it, and he wanted to know about everything he saw. Both of us adults were growing tired, so Roger told him there was a surprise for him in the back yard. My boy was like one of those tiny yapping dogs that jump every time they bark. He was going nuts wanting to know what his surprise was.
Roger walked us all to the back of the house, and when he opened the door, I could see a large jungle gym and sandbox area in his back yard. It seemed a bit out of place with the rest of the landscape desigining, but it made my boy’s year to have a school quality jungle gym right there in the back yard. As I watched my son playing around on the swings, Roger slipped inside and brought us each out a cold beer.
“Yours is the one with the insulator,” Roger said. “I know how you like to nurse your beer.”
We had a little chuckle over this because he was right. I tended to get drunk quickly because of my small frame, so I had to consume my alcohol slowly. I wished I did not become inebriated so easily, but it was what it was.
It was not long before the little ones tired themselves out and were ready for a nap. Having had a beer so early in the day, I was ready for a nap as well. Roger took us to the rooms in which we would be staying. The three rooms were on the second floor right next to each other. Two of them even shared a bathroom. Roger’s bedroom was on the first floor, and he told me to come down whenever I was ready.
The bed was so comfortable I thought I would never get out. I had no idea a bed could possibly be as blissfully comforting as this. With all the stress I endured recently, and feeling the safety of this location, I fell asleep faster than I had in months.
Two weeks passed and I had no further issues with Jeremy. It seemed he was finally going to leave me alone. I assumed he percieved me as out of his reach since I moved in with Roger and moved on with his life.
Roger was a patient gentleman, my knight in shining armor through this, and I began to develop feelings for him that I had not experienced since losing my husband. The idea of falling in love terrified me to my very core, but I had the feeling Roger was already in love with me.
One Saturday night, after Roger helped me get my children to bed, I reminded him of what I told him the first time he asked me out.
“I think I’m ready now,” I told him through a face I knew had to be blushing.
Roger got up from where he was seated and came to have a seat beside me. With a cute smile crossing his face, Roger put his arm around me, and we continued to watch the movie we had playing on the television. Although we spent a large portion of the night cuddling, we did not allow it to go any further than that for now. We did not want to rush getting into bed because we were both concerned with ruining what we already had.
Over the next few weeks, we spent virtually all our time together. My children and I did not officially move in with Roger yet, but in time we had more of our stuff at his house than we did at ours. Although Roger did not particularly like the dogs coming inside the house, it did not take long to train them to stay in certain rooms toward the back of the house. The two German shepherds absolutely loved the running room they had in the huge back yard of “Roger’s Mansion.”
Although our relationship progressed to the point of intimacy, I continued to sleep in my own room. I did not know how to break it to my son that I fell in love with Roger. He barely had time to get to know his own father, and I did not want to replace him with Roger and take away any memories my son had. I did not have to explain to him our love life, but I was going to have to explain to him if we began sharing the same bedroom every night.
I still loved my late husband, and being with Roger made me feel like I was cheating on him. More than two years passed since the accident that took his life, but I still felt like our marriage vows were still valid. Although I knew in my heart he would not want me to spend the rest of my life alone, it was difficult as I felt as though I was replacing the father of my children. I loved him so much. He was the first, and until recently the only love of my life.
Roger took very good care of me and my children, and eventually I ended the lease on the house I was renting and officially moved into Roger’s beautiful home. After six months of living with him, I received no more emails, phone calls or texts from Jeremy. It appeared he gave up once I moved my family in with Roger. Jeremy probably saw me as vulnerable when I was alone, but now he must realized I was out of his reach. For the first time in months, I once again felt safe.
Slightly more than six months after I officially moved in with Roger, he proposed to me. It was so romantic. He set up the patio in the back yard like a five-star restaurant, and he even had a string quartet playing lovely music. I knew what he was going to ask me, but he waited until we finished our dinner before kneeling before me and asking for my hand in marriage.
My children were much happier about this news than I initially anticipated. My daughter did not worry me, as she was born after her father was so tragically taken. I did worry about how my son would take this because he was a little more than two years old at the time of the terrible, life altering incident.
Before our wedding date arrived, Roger received a promotion to administrator of the hospital. The promotion came with an impressively large increase in salary, and this allowed me to drop down to part time. Now I could stay home with my children on the days I would normally have to put them in the daycare. Now they would be raise by me and their nanny. My dream of staying home and being a full-time wife and mother was actually coming true.
When I put the kids down for their nap at late morning, I decided to sit down in the living room and watch a little television before I began to get the things for supper together. Instead of my regular show, I found it was interrupted by a newscast. I could not believe what I was seeing. Something like this happened in the city on an unfortunately regular basis, but not in a small town like this.
Some kids playing in the woods discovered human remains hidden under an old stack of sticks and leaves. Forensic experts on the site determined the person died nearly a year ago. My initial thought was this was a bear attack. Brown bears were known to take their kill and hide it for later, and in this case the bear never came back for its meal.
That was my thought until the news anchor announced the coroner listed the cause of death as a double gunshot wound to the back of the head. Chill bumps covered my skin, and my blood ran cold when they revealed the identity of the dead man. My hands began to tremble and I felt as if I were about to vomit when the news announcer showed the driver’s license picture of the victim. It was Jeremy.
If Jeremey was killed that long ago, there was no possible way he could be the individual who stalked and taunted me all that time. As a matter of fact, the range provided for the approximate day of his death fell in the same time when Jeremy started acting strange at work, then suddenly disappeared. The thought of the reality of the situation filled me with such panic, for a minute or so I was quite literally paralyzed.
I loudly fumbled up the stairs and ran to the one door in the house I never opened: Roger’s study. My children still slept in their bedrooms as I stood in front of that large oaken door. It felt like it took me forever to reach up and turn the knob. I allowed the door to slowly swing open to reveal the large, carpeted room with walls lined with books, couches of several sorts, and a desk at the far side of the room.
Slowly creeping across the floor, I made my way to Roger’s desk and found his computer was running. Jiggling the mouse, I brought up the sign on screen. The opening screen required a password, and taking a shot in the dark, I entered my name. To both my relief and fear, the computer accepted the password and the home screen came into view. There on the home screen I saw a folder labeled with my name. Reluctantly, I clicked on the folder and found it contained a massive number of video files. As little as I wanted to, I clicked on a video labeled with the same date as the night the creepy clown stood at my front door.
I still did not want to believe this was happening, but there it was right in front of me. Roger had copies of all the videos both inside and outside of my house. I was watching myself panic from inside as the clown stood outside my door instilling a deep sense of terror in me. Roger took care of all the arrangements for the security system for my home, and even billed it to the hospital.
Could that possibly be how the clown was able to turn off my cameras that terrifying night? When Roger had the security cameras installed, did he have some back door entry into the system about which he never told me?
As I tried to quell my panic, I gazed about the room for anything else that might give me an indication of what was really going on here. On the side wall of the room was a single closet door with storage shelves on either side holding a variety of decorative nicknacks. Before moving back out from behind the desk, I glanced out the study window to make sure Roger did not come home early before cautiously making my way to the closet door.
My heart raced as I reached up to grab the polished door handle and gripped it in my hand. Taking in a deep breath, I slowly turned the knob and pulled the door open. It was a large walk-in closet filled with Roger’s suits, shirts and other dress clothing. I felt dizzy as I walked toward the back of the closet, sifting through the clothing as I went.
Hit with such shock, I was frozen in place for how long I could not say. I spread apart several of Roger’s suits and there, hanging on the back wall of the closet, was that sadistic clown costume he wore in order to terrify me. Turning, I ran from the closet and toward the office door. I knew I had to get me and my children out of this house and away from this man.
Absolute terror fillled me as I saw Roger’s car rolling up the driveway. I could not make my escape now; I was going to have to bide my time and pretend I was unaware of how Roger tormented me. All this time I thought it was Jeremy stalking me and making my life miserable, but it was the very man to whose arms I ran for safety.
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