Myself

Word Count: 3,177

Infinitely more realities, alternate universes, or perhaps other dimensions some may say, exist than the human brain could possibly imagine. It boggles the mind trying to grasp the idea that there exists an infinite number of infinitely sized universes. Theoretical physicists were only beginning to scratch the surface in their understanding of the nature of reality. 

I wish I knew nothing. I wish I could be as ignorant as the rest of humanity. Others cannot see the things I can see, and I envied their blindness. Countless generations ago my ancestors were blessed with the knowledge of and ability to see these other worlds. They called it a blessing, but I called it a curse. 

When I slept, I did not dream. Instead, surreal visions of places unknown dominated my sleep. I saw hellish worlds, worlds of bliss and worlds very similar to my own. Each morning, as soon as I awoke, I recorded my visions in a ledger. I kept my ledger and a pencil on the night stand because I wanted to make sure I documented the perplexing visions before they faded from memory. 

Until I was thirteen years old, I could not see these other dimensions all the time. When I did, I had absolutely no control over what worlds would appear to me. It took years of practice to master my control over what I did and did not see. 

Some of the beings from these other dimensions overlapped my universe enough that they could slip through. Some of these beings intermingled with the Earth Terrans while others remained hidden. Certain beings wanted to cause harm to humanity, some were benevolent, and others remained completely indifferent. 

I was first able to see these other realities immediately upon reaching the age of six. It was this way with all the males in my biological family tree. Before my ability blossomed, one of my uncles mysteriously vanished; it was assumed he crossed the threshold of an alternate universe. We had a hell of a time convincing the authorities and my uncles’ acquaintances that nothing sorted occurred. Fortunately, his wife passed away prior to his disappearance, so there was no need to concoct a cover for his absence there. 

Such things occurred every so often with the men in my family. Sometimes one of us slipped through the boundaries between realities and became stranded, unable to return. When there was no wife involved, it made the disappearance much easier to cover up. Any sons understood because we all shared the gift. Daughters were another story. When daughters were involved, things became much more difficult to explain. A more elaborate ruse had to be concocted in such cases. 

Some of my bloodline thought it was their responsibility to police immigrants from one universe to another while others believed it was their place to rid our world of them altogether. Many chose to work with the aliens to our universe to the mutual benefit of both. Countless discoveries were made when the wiser men of our family used the knowledge gained from an alternative reality to make this world a better place for the natives. 

My father broke a long-held rule among the males; he chose to explain our fantastic gift to my mother. Initially things did not turn out well at all. Mother believed he was insane. She left and tried to take me away from him. Mother did not want me to hear, or God forbid believe father’s outlandish tales. I do not know how, but father somehow convinced my mom he was telling her the truth. I am glad because I would be lost when my second site began. 

I can remember that first glimpse through reality as if it happened yesterday. It was a beautiful early Autumn day. Father took the dog for a walk and insisted I come with them. We lived in a scattered community; thick forests congested the areas in between small clusters of homes. A trail worn from decades of use began in our backyard and continued on for miles. It was on this route that we always walked the dog. 

Because the tree coverage was so dense, there was very little undergrowth obscuring the ground. Leaves and pine needles created a barrier which hindered weed growth. This allowed a clear view deep into the forest. 

Shortly after we entered the woods, a sudden case of vertigo washed over me for several moments. Eventually, as my head began to clear, I could feel my father’s strong hands holding me erect. I suddenly became aware of our dog barking, and I heard another dog barking back. No not back, they were barking in unison. 

When my mind cleared enough for me to stand on my feet unaided, I turned my gaze toward the source of the excited shouts of the second dog. Initially I did not know what to think. I was looking into a mirror. At least I felt like I was looking into a mirror. Fifty feet to the right of the trail, I saw another man, boy and dog. 

I did not remember any other walking trails until this one splintered into multiple paths another half mile from here, so I wondered what the others were doing out here. Another few moments later I realized these others paralleled all of our moves exactly. Their clothes were of a different fashion from ours, and the dog was of a different breed. Despite the minor differences, the others were exactly like us. 

My whole world crashed in around me. I did not know if they paralleled our moves or if it was us that mimic theirs.  Were the dogs barking at one another or was it the same dog barking in both places. I tried to ask my father what I was seeing, but he told me to be quiet and pay attention. 

“Be patient my son,” he said. “Try to calm your thoughts and watch closely at everything around you.” 

The reflections of ourselves appeared to be having the same conversation. I was looking across the threads of existence to another universe for the first time, and so was the little boy I was watching. Initially I saw nothing except for that one peculiar scene. My father tried soothing me, explaining I was in no danger, but fear of the unknown gripped me tightly regardless of any assurances. What I saw could not be real, yet there it was. Father saw the others as well but showed very little reaction to them. 

Rubbing his hands on my shoulders, he began to hum. Something about the melody was very soothing and washed my fear and anxiety away. Again, he told me to be silent, quiet the thoughts in my mind and pay attention to my surroundings. An hour passed and I still saw nothing besides the other versions of ourselves. 

Apparently the other me must have seen what he was supposed to see already. The nearly identical versions of us stopped imitating our movements and resumed their walk in the forest. Finally, with the aid of my father, I began to see more than what was there. The trees of the forest faded into almost nothing, and I saw a large number of massive stone structures. They reminded me of the pictures I saw in a book about ancient Egypt. I still saw the forest, but it was nothing more than a vague ghostly image. 

Father asked me what I saw as I scanned across the odd civilization. At first, I ignored him. What I saw commanded all of my attention. When he asked me again, I softly told them what was displayed before me. Something about this revelation pleased Father tremendously. 

I told him of the beings in the city. In no way shape or form were they human. They were like giant, towering amoeba. Their leathery thick, green skin was almost totally transparent. Rather than nuclei in the center there were only what could be called brains in their amorphous bodies. 

There was no doubt the creatures were intelligent. They did after all build the city of polished granite and marble. At least I thought it was granite and marble. I was not sure if the same minerals existed in this reality as were in mine. 

They had no sensory organs in any normal sense of the word. Occasionally two of them partially merged in what I thought was an exchange of information. I could’ve gotten caught in awe of this place if father had not roused me to my senses. 

I looked into his eyes and saw the pride. Over the next several hours, he explained the nature of my second sight. He told me bedtime stories about people who could see people from other worlds, but until now I thought it was fiction. This was the conversation when I learned only the men of my family had the second site. He told me this gift never manifested itself until the male was six years old. 

The vast majority of males in my family could only see into the immediately adjacent realities. My father was overcome with joy when I described the scene that played before me. Occasionally men in my bloodline are born with the ability to see much-much deeper into the string of pearls, the threads of all that is. My sight was powerful. I was a member of this very tiny minority. 

He explained what I saw was an alternate universe occupying the same space as hours. I was only six, so it was close to impossible for me to wrap my arms around it at all. It did not make sense to me how something else, somewhere else could be where we already were. It was utterly baffling. 

During the following years, Father taught me how to control my ability. He could not fathom what it was like to see as much as I, so it was difficult for him to teach me to deal with it. Still, he did help me control my gift enough to preserve my sanity. 

Father was one of the family members who believed in working in cooperation with the others. Initially I followed the same path, but that would later change. My father only saw those at the threshold of our universe and the next. I could see much deeper and trusted the others less and less as I watched them go about their daily activities. 

According to my father, I could cross physically into any reality I could see, but I was too terrified of what could happen if I did. I never made use of this ability at Father’s request and because of my own crippling fear. Whether it was actually possible or not, I was too scared of becoming stranded in a universe that was not my own to find out. The air could be different, or the ambient levels of radiation could be much higher. I did not know if I would be able to adapt to new environments, and Father was unable to answer me this when I asked. The two universes he could see were virtually identical to our own. 

In time I learned to project myself mentally. This could -accurately be referred to as an out-of-body experience. I dared not attempt to move across the threshold in my physical body, but when I projected myself through the ether that connects the whole of existence, I was not perceived by those in the other realities. I felt much safer leaving my body at home and doing my exploring as a ghost. 

I attained years of knowledge in a very short time. When I moved across one universe from my own, time slowed in my universe from my perspective. The further I moved from my own universe; the more time stood still back in my own. This allowed me to spend years studying the vastness of reality without wasting any of my own years. 

In most universes I found only infinite chaos with no definable laws of physics. Among the dimensions remaining only a small percentage supported life as we understand it. The ones I did find occupied usually had inhabitants with a level of violence the same as our own. There were some a little more and some a little less violent than humans. 

I took a special interest in the world of the green amoeba-like beings. Theirs was the second universe for me to see besides my own, and it was far away from my own. I could spend years there, and only a few minutes would pass for my body at home. 

These amoebas, who I came to call “the Grand,” were by far the most peaceful species I encountered in any universe I visited to date. I spent hundreds of years in their universe watching and studying them. When one Grand encountered another, they began a several hour-long ritual of saying hello. They were never in a hurry, and I never once saw one of them commit a single act of violence. It was as if violence was a concept unknown to them. The reason this was such a favorite place for me to visit was because of how blissfully peaceful it was. 

The architectural design of the Grand was absolutely awe inspiring. Blocks weighing tens of tons, all cut in oddly irregular shapes fit together snugly like pieces of a puzzle. I was never sure of their motivation for this, but nowhere in their architecture could one find anything with a right angle. With all the time I spent there, the reason for this is something I have yet to discover. 

Their cities were absolutely awe inspiring. No two buildings looked alike, but despite the vast array of designs there was a sense of uniformity about them. Very few of the structures had roofs, which made sense in this world. 

I never once saw it rain. The weather was always extremely consistent. For hundreds of years the weather remained exactly the same. A thin and even layer of cloud covered the sky, thin enough to allow the large blue sun to shine through. 

A system of underground catacombs equal to the size of the city above ground were a part of every metropolis of the Grand. This is where they did the things they considered to be the most private and sacred such as mating, eating and sleeping. 

The mating ritual of the Grand could include a number of individuals at least two or more. In specially designed chambers, the Grand join together to create what was essentially a massive multi-celled organism. This took anywhere from a few weeks to several years depending on the number involved. Genetic material is traded, and soon after separating the Grand will each sprout a bud. After several years of carrying and nurturing the bud, the growth falls from the parent and becomes a new Grand. 

I made the decision to stay out of the catacombs after my first few visits there. I realized it was a place they considered sacred and private to them. Being the gentle creatures they were, I really felt I should respect their traditions and beliefs on the matter. 

Initially I thought the maze of structures were composed of granite or marble. When I had enough time to look at them closely, I could see the stone resembled Jasper more than rough granite or smooth marble. 

I never thought Jasper could be formed in such large sections; that was, if it was truly Jasper. It occurred to me long ago that the geological properties existing in my home reality may not exist here. That always made me wonder how diverse the laws of physics were from one reality to the next. For this reason, I was ever so happy I left my body safely in my bedroom, in my house and in my own universe. 

It was in my 17th year when I saw the first signs of the invasion. The denizens of the amoeba world enjoyed the peaceful life of harmony with all other life native to that reality. I found great solace when I visited that slow-paced civilization, enjoying the casual and serene ways of life. On this world there was no pain, no frustration, there was no negativity of any sort. 

As I observed several of the Grand carving away at a stone to be used in a newly constructed building, the gentle atmosphere of that beautiful tranquil world congealed into massive storm clouds. The Grand did not know what to think as they watched the dark clouds billow forth from nowhere. 

Such a strange sight was never seen on their world, and I found myself to be as shocked as they. Bolts of deep-red electrical discharge blasted from the black clouds, and wherever it struck the ground it left large smoking craters in its wake. Nothing could have prepared me or the Grand for what happened next. As the smoke from the glowing hot craters cleared away, I saw the forces of the attacking army. 

Thousands of soldiers, some of them bipeds, many of them not, gathered from different realities rushed outward killing every animal-like life-form they encountered. A dimensional vortex, an aperture between worlds remained in the center of the smoking craters. Soldiers poured through the gateways in what seemed like endless numbers. 

The vast majority of the army appeared to consist of a hoard of creatures that had the look of a wild man from the waist up, but a body resembling that of a dire wolf from the waist down. These vicious creatures slaughtered without compassion or remorse. Others appeared reluctant to engage in the slaughter, but participated nonetheless. 

Although the Grand greatly over towered the invading army, they had no means of defending themselves. Violence was a concept with which they were completely unfamiliar. Attempting to flee was not even a thought they considered as this was an unknown idea to them. The innocent and peaceful Grand were slaughtered because they did not know what else to do. 

I could not believe what I was seeing. I watched these benevolent beings for centuries of their time. No where else in the strings of reality did I find a species this peaceful. They were being slaughtered and there was nothing I could do to help them. I watched on in sadness and horror as the army slaughtered every last living being they encountered. 

Out of sheer instinct, I brought myself in for a closer look. One man was obviously the leader. Everyone appeared to be taking orders from him. I willed myself over to him and instantly knew that there was no hope for my world. This army would move from one reality to the next led by an extremely powerful psychic. The man who commanded the slaughter of the peace and tranquil Grand was instantly familiar to me. I was looking at a face I saw many times before. I was looking at a mirror image, an alternate version of myself.